Survivor Spotlight: Pam Mashburn

As 2007 drew to a close, and Pam Mashburn welcomed a fresh new year, she was on a roll. The small business owner, wife and mom was gearing up for a great 2008. Then, just a few weeks into January, a routine mammogram resulted in some not-great news: breast cancer. With determination, a sense of humor — she notes, “I really took a liking to the ease of wearing a wig to get ready quickly.” — plus the steadfast support of family, she made it through surgery and chemo. Today, almost 15 years later, Pam is doing great again, and she shared some of what she learned in her battle with breast cancer.

JOY: Tell us about your cancer diagnosis and treatment.

I count myself as extremely blessed. My cancer was Invasive Lobular Carcinoma, which is almost impossible to detect with a self-exam. I went in for my 40-year-old mammogram, and Dr. Reno saw a shadow and ordered a biopsy. She said she felt like there was an angel on her shoulder when she saw it; it would have been easy to miss. We thought it would just be a lumpectomy until the MRI showed three large tumors and many non-invasive tumors.

Dr. Davidson met with my husband and me; man is he the smartest doctor ever! After a bilateral mastectomy, top-shelf hair removing chemo and radiation, I felt terribly unfeminine.

During my treatments, I really never thought about dying. I was incredibly irritated at the inconvenience of it all - and at losing my hair. After my last radiation, I treated myself to a special breakfast and then wept for three days. I finally let myself embrace the seriousness, the what-could-have-been and the relief of the situation.

At the time, I had three little guys, ages 12, 10 and 7. Some funny things that happened with my kids:

• When explaining the reconstruction process, my 10-year-old asked if they would be made of metal.
• The chemo sent me into early menopause with lots of hot flashes, and my 7-year-old told me he had a hot flash during his test at school.
• My oldest was embarrassed to say "breast" cancer.
• My kids wanted to show all their friends my bloody drains.

JOY: Were there any positives in all the negatives that come with being sick?

God was such a part of my journey, and although I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone, it became a blessing in many ways:

• Praying specific prayers brought specific answers. I prayed God, I'm sending an SOS — I don't know how to wear this scarf thingy to the baseball fields, I don't know how to look normal. God sent Susan Owen, a fellow breast cancer fighter whose friends had S.O.S. ribbons on their cars.
• The day I found out I would lose my hair, God had my tennis opponent be another young cancer fighter to encourage me that her hair was growing back and mine would too.
• Because I was such a capable woman, the surgeries forced me to ask my young boys to become young men.
• Our sons learned how a husband cares for a wife and loves her, despite her baldness and broken body.
• One of my sweetest friends walked through this journey and became a Christian.
• Later, as my dad started his journey with lung cancer, I was able to walk alongside him in a different relationship that allowed me to help him in ways that others couldn't. Those years are still precious to me.

JOY: What forms of help and support from others really stood out?

• Carpooling my kids.
• Arranging for meals for my family.
• Friends that came over and cleaned out my fridge of leftovers.
• Friends that came by and while we talked, helped me with my laundry.
• Friends offered a beach condo, tickets to Biscuits Baseball and other fun things to do with my family, and it's not that I couldn't do those things, but I was just so tired I didn't want to arrange it
• Friends sent gift cards for restaurants.
• Someone bought me a satin pillowcase because your scalp actually hurts when your hair is falling out.
• Someone bought me a fanny pack for my drains.
• Someone bought me a monogrammed robe to wear every day for six weeks to get my radiation.

JOY: What did you do for yourself that helped you cope?  

I journaled gratitude and the things that God was showing me. I prayed a lot, and I let others pray for me and over me.

JOY: What are some of the big takeaways from your cancer journey?

Osteoporosis is a real thing for breast cancer survivors. I had a not-so-serious fall before I was even 50 and had a hip replacement. Make sure you are getting calcium and osteoporosis treatments (and yes, my T score said I was only osteopina). Apparently, estrogen is really important, and if you go into early menopause and take the estrogen blocking drugs like tamoxifen, this is an important area to address.

Keeping those MRI and mammogram appointments are still important! And reconstruction surgery may still be in the future. I'm scheduled for another surgery in the spring.

Going through breast cancer defines our character. It robs women of the things we use to define femininity: hair, breasts, fingernails, eyebrows. And it leaves us battered, at least for a time. But the womanhood that it produces is one of character, compassion, empathy and strength. To learn that you are not defined by those outward appearances is a freedom. The journey was made easier as I looked for God's purpose. I believe God is the ultimate recycler; he wastes nothing and uses all things for the good of those who love him and are called to his purpose. The spiritual battle to rob women of the things that “define” beauty, in effect, creates a deeper beauty; it creates a woman who understands deeper and more meaningful things.